Free will

There was a young man who said, 'Damn,
In is borne upon me that I am
A creature that moves
In predestinate grooves--
Not even a bus, but a tram.'


If ever asked if I believe in destiny, I usually can't help a big smile. Not because I consider this amusing in any way, but because the idea of a "superior force" guiding our steps and watching over us is very much against everything I believe in as a person, against every form of freedom I value, but most importantly against freedom of choice.

However, two days ago, as I was getting ready to leave from Bacau to Bucharest, I received a phone call from my friend saying my exams are starting in two days, not in a week, as I was told and as the year structure posted next to the Secretary's door said.

I was unpleasantly surprised, not only because I had only 1 day to study, but mainly because I had a meeting on Monday I did not want to miss. Eventually, the hour of the meeting was changed, and I was to go to Iasi the next day, which was Sunday, then go to the exam on Monday morning at nine, then take the train at 14 and arrive in Bucharest at 21.30, then go to the meeting.

This morning at nine o'clock there was nobody from my year of study around. I was expecting the teacher to be late, but not them. At 9.30 a teacher comes and tells me I'm supposed to come at 16, that's when the exam takes place. :|

As I was coming back from school, I realized some things are beneath our power of choice, that we are conditioned by the perimeters of the systems we are a part of. Direct participation is not only a concept for defining actively engaged citizens in politics or community, but it spreads out to education or NGOs or any form of institution or process that is a system or is part of one.

Of course, the more we express our choices the better thing go for us. Had I decided to join the Student Council or be the Student Year Coordinator, I would have had something to say about it.

What's more, terms such as political clientelism can be easily applied here as well. If I had been in contact with the Student Year Coordinator, making her some small favors, complimenting her, or whatever else polite terms are there to substitute ass kissing, she would have given me the big favor of telling me the exact hour of this exam, and who knows what else.

There is , for sure, a list out there with people who get this information very easy... And I am not a part of it. This, of course in the hypothesis of the Teacher actually consulting someone about it...

Two days ago, my mum asked why I don't find school as attractive as I used to.