Unitati de masura

2011-07-12T10:21:00.001-07:00

The well-sung woes will soothe my pensive ghost;
He best can paint 'em, who shall feel 'em most.

Save the date!

2011-06-28T03:39:00.001-07:00

Another announcement by Smilebox

Official Invite!

2011-06-24T05:37:00.001-07:00

A digital ecard by Smilebox

Matter of hearts

2011-02-01T23:28:00.000-08:00

[Alina Cantemir]
Ieri alex voia sa te sun
[You]
9:11am
de ce?
[Alina Cantemir]
9:11am
sa-ti zic ca te iubeste pina in virful muntelui Everest
[You]
9:11am
:D:D
dragul de el
ce dulce
[Alina Cantemir]
9:11am
UNDE, CA SA URCI
DUREAZA MII DE ANI
[You]
9:12am
serios? asa a zis el???
[Alina Cantemir]
9:12am
am incheiat citatul
[You]
9:12am
ce tare!
[Alina Cantemir]
9:12am
da
singur
[You]
9:12am
o sa-i zic azi ca am primit mesajul :)

2011-01-07T00:14:00.000-08:00

When will I stop?

2010-11-08T06:06:00.000-08:00

Cadou de la Bogdan :)

2010-10-24T09:31:00.000-07:00

Octavian Paler - Avem timp

Avem timp pentru toate.
Sa dormim, sa alergam in dreapta si-n stanga,
sa regretam c-am gresit si sa gresim din nou,
sa-i judecam pe altii si sa ne absolvim pe noi insine,
avem timp sa citim si sa scriem,
sa corectam ce-am scris, sa regretam ce-am scris,
avem timp sa facem proiecte si sa nu le respectam,
avem timp sa ne facem iluzii si sa rascolim prin cenusa lor mai tarziu.
Avem timp pentru ambitii si boli,
sa invinovatim destinul si amanuntele,
avem timp sa privim norii, reclamele sau un accident oarecare,
avem timp sa ne-alungam intrebarile, sa amanam raspunsurile,
avem timp sa sfaramam un vis si sa-l reinventam,
avem timp sa ne facem prieteni, sa-i pierdem,
avem timp sa primim lectii si sa le uitam dupa-aceea,
avem timp sa primim daruri si sa nu le-ntelegem.
Avem timp pentru toate.
Nu e timp doar pentru putina tandrete.
Cand sa facem si asta - murim.
Am invatat unele lucruri in viata pe care vi le impartasesc si voua !!
Am invatat ca nu poti face pe cineva sa te iubeasca
Tot ce poti face este sa fii o persoana iubita.
Restul ... depinde de ceilalti.
Am invatat ca oricat mi-ar pasa mie
Altora s-ar putea sa nu le pase.
Am invatat ca dureaza ani sa castigi incredere
Si ca doar in cateva secunde poti sa o pierzi
Am invatat ca nu conteaza CE ai in viata
Ci PE CINE ai.
Am invatat ca te descurci si ti-e de folos farmecul cca 15 minute
Dupa aceea, insa, ar fi bine sa stii ceva.
Am invatat ca nu trebuie sa te compari cu ceea ce pot altii mai bine sa faca
Ci cu ceea ce poti tu sa faci
Am invatat ca nu conteaza ce li se intampla oamenilor
Ci conteaza ceea ce pot eu sa fac pentru a rezolva
Am invatat ca oricum ai taia
Orice lucru are doua fete
Am invatat ca trebuie sa te desparti de cei dragi cu cuvinte calde
S-ar putea sa fie ultima oara cand ii vezi
Am invatat ca poti continua inca mult timp
Dupa ce ai spus ca nu mai poti
Am invatat ca EROI sunt cei care fac ce trebuie, cand trebuie
Indiferent de consecinte
Am invatat ca sunt oameni care te iubesc
Dar nu stiu s-o arate
Am invatat ca atunci cand sunt suparat am dreptul sa fiu suparat
Dar nu am dreptul sa fiu si rau
Am invatat ca prietenia adevarata continua sa existe chiar si la distanta
Iar asta este valabil si pentru iubirea adevarata
Am invatat ca, daca cineva nu te iubeste cum ai vrea tu
Nu inseamna ca nu te iubeste din tot sufletul.
Am invatat ca indiferent cat de bun iti este un prieten
Oricum te va rani din cand in cand
Iar tu trebuie sa-l ierti pentru asta.
Am invatat ca nu este intotdeauna de ajuns sa fii iertat de altii
Cateodata trebuie sa inveti sa te ierti pe tine insuti
Am invatat ca indiferent cat de mult suferi,
Lumea nu se va opri in loc pentru durerea ta.
Am invatat ca trecutul si circumstantele ti-ar putea influenta personalitatea
Dar ca TU esti responsabil pentru ceea ce devii
Am invatat ca, daca doi oameni se cearta, nu inseamna ca nu se iubesc
Si nici faptul ca nu se cearta nu dovedeste ca se iubesc.
Am invatat ca uneori trebuie sa pui persoana pe primul loc
Si nu faptele sale
Am invatat ca doi oameni pot privi acelasi lucru
Si pot vedea ceva total diferit
Am invatat ca indiferent de consecinte
Cei care sunt cinstiti cu ei insisi ajung mai departe in viata
Am invatat ca viata iti poate fi schimbata in cateva ore
De catre oameni care nici nu te cunosc.
Am invatat ca si atunci cand crezi ca nu mai ai nimic de dat
Cand te striga un prieten vei gasi puterea de a-l ajuta.
Am invatat ca scrisul
Ca si vorbitul
Poate linisti durerile sufletesti
Am invatat ca oamenii la care tii cel mai mult
Iti sunt luati prea repede ...
Am invatat ca este prea greu sa-ti dai seama
Unde sa tragi linie intre a fi amabil, a nu rani oamenii si a-ti sustine parerile.
Am invatat sa iubesc
Ca sa pot sa fiu iubit.

Incotro 2010

2010-10-24T09:27:00.000-07:00

POVESTEA CELOR 3 PORTI

Un rege avea un fiu destept si curajos. Ca sa-l pregateasca pentru a infrunta viata, il trimise la un batran intelept.

-Lumineaza-ma: ce trebuie sa stiu in viata?
-Vorbele mele se vor pierde precum urmele pasilor tai pe nisip. Dar o sa-ti dau totusi cateva sfaturi. In drumul tau prin viata vei intalni trei porti. Citeste ce scrie pe fiecare dintre ele. O dorinta mai puternica decat tine te va impinge sa le urmezi. Nu incerca sa te intorci, caci vei fi condamnat sa retraiesti din nou si din nou ceea ce incerci sa eviti. Nu pot sa-ti spun mai mult. Tu singur trebuie sa treci prin asta, cu inima si cu trupul. Acum du-te… Urmeaza drumul acesta drept din fata ta.

Batranul intelept disparu si tanarul porni pe drumul vietii.Nu dupa mult timp, se gasi in fata unei porti mari, pe care se putea citi: “SCHIMBA LUMEA”.

“Asta era si intentia mea, gandi printul, caci chiar daca sunt lucruri care imi plac pe aceasta lume, altele nu-mi convin deloc.”

Atunci incepu prima sa lupta. Idealul sau, abilitatea si vigoarea sa il impinsera sa se confrunte cu lumea, sa intreprinda, sa cucereasca, sa modeleze realitatea dupa dorinta sa. El gasi placerea si betia cuceritorului, dar nu si alinarea inimii. Reusi sa schimbe cateva lucruri, dar multe altele ii rezistara. Anii trecura. Intr-o zi il intalni din nou pe batranul intelept, care-l intreba:

-Ce-ai invatat tu pe acest drum?
-Am invatat sa deosebesc ceea ce e in puterea mea de ceea ce imi scapa, ceea ce depinde de mine de ceea ce nu depinde de mine.
-Bine, zise batranul. Utilizeaza-ti fortele pentru ceea ce sta in puterea ta si uita ceea ce-ti scapa printre degete. Si disparu.

Putin dupa aceasta intalnire, printul se gasi in fata celei de-a doua porti pe care statea scris: “SCHIMBA-I PE CEILALTI”.

“Asta era si intentia mea, gandi el. Ceilalti sunt sursa de placere, bucurii si satisfactii, dar si de durere, necazuri si frustrari.”

El se ridica deci contra a tot ce-l deranja sau nu-i placea la cei din jurul sau. Incerca sa le patrunda in caracter si sa le extirpeze defectele. Aceasta fu a doua lupta a sa. Intr-o zi, pe cand medita asupra utilitatii tentativelor sale de a-i schimba pe ceilalti, il intalni din nou pe batranul intelept, care-l intreba:

-Ce ai invatat tu, deci, pe acest drum?
-Am invatat ca nu ceilalti sunt cauza sau sursa bucuriilor sau necazurilor, a satisfactiilor sau infrangerilor mele. Ei sunt doar prilejul, ocazia care le scoate la lumina. In mine prind radacina toate aceste lucruri.
-Ai dreptate, spuse batranul. Prin ceea ce ceilalti trezesc in tine, ei te descopera in fata ta. Fii recunoscator celor care fac sa vibreze in tine bucuria si placerea, dar si celor care fac sa se nasca in tine suferinta sau frustrarea, caci prin ei viata iti arata ce mai ai inca de invatat si calea pe care trebuie s-o urmezi.

Nu dupa multa vreme, printul ajunse in fata unei porti pe care scria: ”SCHIMBA-TE PE TINE INSUTI”.

“Daca eu sunt cauza problemelor mele, atunci inseamna ca asta imi ramane de facut”, isi zise el si incepu lupta cu el insusi.

El cauta sa patrunda in interiorul sau, sa-si combata imperfectiunile, sa-si inlature defectele, sa schimbe tot ce nu-i placea in el, tot ce nu corespundea idealului sau. Dupa cativa ani de lupta cu el insusi, dupa ce cunoscu cateva succese dar si esecuri si rezistenta, printul il intalni iarasi pe batranul intelept, care-l intreba:

-Ce ai invatat tu pe acest drum?
-Am invatat ca exista in noi lucruri pe care le putem ameliora, dar si altele care ne rezista si pe care nu le putem invinge.
-Asa este, spuse batranul.
-Da, dar m-am saturat sa lupt impotriva a tot, a toti si chiar impotiva mea! Oare nu se termina niciodata? Imi vine sa renunt, sa ma dau batut si sa ma resemnez.
-Asta va fi ultima ta lectie, dar inainte de a merge mai departe, intoarce-te si contempla drumul parcurs, raspunse batranul si apoi disparu.

Privind inapoi, printul vazu in departare spatele celei de-a treia porti pe care statea scris: “ACCEPTA-TE PE TINE INSUTI”.

Printul se mira ca n-a vazut cele scrise atunci cand a patruns prima data prin acea poarta, dar in celalalt sens. “In lupta devenim orbi, isi spuse el.”
Si mai vazu zacand pe jos, peste tot in jurul lui, tot ce a respins si a invins in lupta cu el insusi: defectele, umbrele, frica, limitele sale. Le recunoscu pe toate si invata sa le accepte si sa le iubeasca. Invata sa se iubeasca pe el insusi, fara sa se mai compare, sa se judece, sa se invinovateasca. Il intalni din nou pe batranul intelept, care-l intreba:

-Ce-ai invatat in plus pe acest drum?
-Am invatat ca urand sau detestand o parte din mine inseamna sa ma condamn sa nu fiu niciodata de acord cu mine insumi. Am invatat sa ma accept in totalitate, neconditionat.
-Bine, acesta este primul lucru pe care nu trebuie sa-l uiti in viata, acum poti merge mai departe.

Printul zari in departare cea de-a doua poarta, pe spatele careia scria “ACCEPTA-I PE CEILALTI”.

Si in jurul lui recunoscu toate persoanele pe care le-a intalnit in viata sa, pe cei pe care i-a iubit si pe cei pe care i-a urat, pe cei pe care i-a ajutat si pe cei pe care i-a infruntat. Dar spre surpriza sa, acum era incapabil sa le vada imperfectiunile, defectele, lucrurile care altadata il deranjau enorm si impotriva carora luptase. Batranul intelept aparu din nou si-l intreba:

-Ce-ai invatat mai mult decat prima data pe acest drum?
-Am invatat ca fiind in acord cu mine insumi, nu mai am nimic de reprosat celorlati si nici nu ma mai tem de ei. Am invatat sa-i accept si sa-i iubesc asa cum sunt.
-Bine, acesta este cel de al doilea lucru pe care trebuie sa-l tii minte. Continua drumul.

Printul zari prima poarta, prin care trecuse cu mult timp in urma, si vazu ceea ce era scris pe spatele ei: “ACCEPTA LUMEA”.

Privi in jurul sau si recunoscu acea lume pe care a dorit s-o cucereasca, s-o transforme, s-o schimbe. Fu izbit de lumina si frumusetea tuturor lucrurilor, de perfectiunea lor. Era totusi aceeasi lume de alta data. Oare lumea se schimbase, sau privirea sa? Atunci se ivi batranul, care-l intreba:

-Ce-ai invatat pe drumul acesta?
-Acum am invatat ca lumea este oglinda sufletului meu. Ca eu nu vad lumea, ci ma vad in ea. Cand sunt fericit, lumea mi se pare minunata, cand sunt necajit, lumea imi pare trista. Ea nu este nici vesela, nici trista. Ea exista, atat. Nu lumea ma necajea, ci starea mea de spirit si grijile pe care mi le faceam. Am invatat sa o accept fara sa o judec, fara nici o conditie.
-Acesta este cel de al treia lucru important pe care nu trebuie sa-l uiti. Acum esti impacat cu tine, cu ceilalti si cu lumea! Esti pregatit sa pornesti spre ultima incercare: trecerea de la linistea implinirii, la implinirea linistii, spuse el si disparu pentru totdeauna.

to you guyz, for beginnings that last forever :)

2010-09-11T19:05:00.000-07:00

2010-09-07T10:00:00.000-07:00

Ce e nou

2010-06-06T07:04:00.000-07:00

Am o minge in teren care ma apasa...

pe tava

2010-04-18T10:28:00.000-07:00

Ma surzeste limba din ce in ce mai mult.

Inceputuri

2010-04-18T01:39:00.000-07:00

Imi trezesc de fiecare data visele
Si le culc in pat cu tine
Inmiresmate varfuri de par
Inmuiate in miere
Iti gadila ale tale nopti
La randul lor
Explodand de momente jucause
In care mainile noastre
Se catarau aprig pe lianele umede
Ale junglei - caii noastre lactee

De pe perna adancita visele nu curg
Astpet sa le iei in causul palmei tale
Si sa ti le versi pe fata
Pentru un somn oceanic
Necesar involburatei noastre retete
Ca sarutul dupa zvacnire

Nici ca m-as culca
De nu as sti ca
Visul nu incepe
Din moment ce
Nu s-a sfarsit

R. A.

din stra - bunici

2010-03-03T00:24:00.000-08:00

In casa strabunicilor, pe peretele primei camere statea o bucata de panza - tablou cusuta de mana de bunica (asa ii spuneam eu)pe care era asternuta cu dibacie imaginea unei case in care toate sunt in ordine, cu o gospodina mandra in centru si cu doua ramuri de maslin sus in stanga si in dreapta. Iar jos cusut cu aceeasi migala un scris caligrafic, cu litere alambicate: " Curat si bine aranjat, faci din coliba un palat!"

Cum m-am simtit azi :)

2010-02-24T13:51:00.000-08:00

astazi universul mi-a zambit in taina :)

cherry flavoured smile

2010-02-22T11:22:00.000-08:00

God bless friends and self awareness

2010-02-19T13:56:00.000-08:00

about love

2010-02-16T12:09:00.000-08:00

I don't really remember the first time I ever thought about it. When I was a kid, I sometimes felt puzzled: that certain look in granny's eyes when she talked about grandpa, mum buying cakes for us even when we were short on money, grandpa alarmingly quiet while I was drumming on his bald head, or the other grandpa staying up quite late after a long hard labor day to invent stories for the sleepless me, ending up creating new stories that I remember even today.

But what is love, really, and where does it go when fears take over?
Why is it so hard to talk about it?
Why do we reject it?
Why do we need it so bad and why is it so misunderstood?
Is it in the heart, or also in the mind?
Why is it so connected with everything we do..everything we are?
Where does it begin and does it stop?

Certain things are sure though: You can't push the love button, you can't really lie about it and love is the greatest thing that connects us all: we might not all have the same dreams and hopes, heights or colors, but we most certainly need, feel and give love everyday... everywhere.

top 5 reasons for global Warming

2010-01-28T13:17:00.000-08:00

melting the ice can only bring people together - we can reach and be reached
ice as defense mechanism can stop us from experiencing beautiful, authentic emotions
extra warmth is never damaging, even when it's not answered back
ice is static and controlling - water is life and freedom to move
we don't always have to stretch outside our comfort zones to learn. it can happen even when it's cozy and warm!

A long time ago, before I was born, I made the decision to start a journey, which would eventually lead me towards a better me. Who am I? Where am I going? What do I leave behind? What is important for me? What are my fears? What is my best?

I walk blindfolded, but I always reach the right circumstances.

Why?

Exercitu de mandrie

2010-01-14T11:22:00.000-08:00

Intalnirea din seara asta mi-a adus la suprafata mai multe lucruri decat as fi sperat. Si pentru ca vreau sa scriu cu inima nu cu capul o sa le pun aici cu furca, asa cum vin, val dupa val.

sunt mandra de mine pentru ca:

- ii ajut sau incerc sa ii ajut pe ceilalti
- vreau sa cresc permanent si lucrez la asta
- pot sa fac multe lucruri deodata si sa am rezultate bune pentru fiecare
- aduc schimbare si entuziasm
- sunt creativa si am multe idei pe care le si pun in practica
- de cele mai multe ori sunt constienta de punctele mele tari
- incerc sa le accept pe cele cu care nu ma mandresc
- am luat decizii bune pentru mine care ma fac sa spun seara, chiar in zilele cele mai grele ca "a fost frumos azi"
- gandesc in viitor si nu mi-e teama de lucruri grele
- ii inspir pe ceilalti si aduc schimbare pozitiva in ei
- sunt constienta de pasiunile mele, pe care le simt ca pe niste fantani fara fund
- ma adaptez repede si ma concentrez pana rezolv lucrurile
- vreau sa ma cunosc - sa imi stiu radacinile, sa imi constientizez temerile, sa scot la suprafata lucruri dureroase
- invat repede
- sunt pozitiva de cele mai multe ori
- sunt sociabila si deschisa
- am incredere in mine
- am facilitat la conferinte internationale
- am coordonat o groaza de echipe de la care am invatat mult
- imi dau seama cate am de invatat de la copii
- prima mea nota a fost 10
- sunt puternica
- sunt perseverenta
- primesc si dau multa iubire
.
.
.
.
....si mai sunt mandra de mine pentru ca am blog si am reinceput sa scriu pe el

Gone going

2010-01-07T13:17:00.000-08:00

Cum stateam azi in cada si ma gandeam la ziua lunga pe care am avut-o, la momentele frumoase, cum am atipit langa Matei care m-a rugat sa dorm langa el, cum am tresarit speriata cand a cazut Bogdan din pat si l-am cules plangand in brate, cum am constat uimita ca pe grup s-a pornit o avalansa de mesaje, patania Dariei si discutia cu tatal ei, senzatia repetata ca seman mult cu Roxana, ca ma regasesc in gesturi, cuvinte , chiar stari pe care le are ea, intalnirea in 6 de la 6 si revelatia unui exercitiu aparent banal insa odata in el flashuri din copilarie, senzatia intensa din piept, uimire, durere, intelegere, cina in oras apoi cu Razvan cu gandul la indigestie :), insa linistita intr-un final, cu imaginea unor brate mari care au cuprins o multime si la fel ca pescarii care scot plasele pline incearca sa evalueze situatia, sa sorteze pestii si sa se gandeasca unde vor pune plasele in continuare.

De cand am ajuns in Casuta am intrat intr-o lume plina de oglinzi care din ce in ce mai mult se misca peste tot dupa mine, cateodata ca sa ma amuze sau sa ma uimeasca sau sa imi spuna STOP.

Startul anului asta e grozav de incarcat: examene, dizertatie, munca din Casuta, cursul pentru adulti cu Lorina, sedintele de-acasa, oportunitati pentru vara, Razvan, ai mei, Sis, eu, etc etc etc...insa nu m-as vadea in alta parte altfel...vorba Roxanei: "daca nu le puteai duce nu le aveai..."

Si cum spuneam, cum stateam eu in cada si ma gandeam la toate astea, lipsita de vlaga, insa plina de ganduri, dar si de gratitudine pentru cele doua Zane care ne dau atat de mult, mi-am adus aminte de cand eram in AIESEC, in Bucuresti, venita de la o conferinta, urcata in sf intr-un taxi fara sa trebuiasca sa zic dinainte destinatia, istovita fara masura, asteptand cu nerabdare sa ajung in pat, mi-am adus aminte de taximetristul care tot drumul de 30 min pana acasa mi-a repetat incontinuu: "daca faci o baie inainte de culcare cand esti obosita te vei simti muuuuuuuuult mai odihnita dimineata. Incearca, hai incearca si-ai sa vezi..." I owe this guy my life!

Us

2009-04-11T09:06:00.000-07:00

We run in our cages like little white mice, at fast pace, too concerned with the rhythm of his steps to realize he has no destination, no contact with the outer world, no understanding.

We fool ourselves with gods that don't exist, too frightened to do things on our own.

We forget we have roots and identities that go far beyond the nationality on our passports. If history is a garbage bin, we are the trash.

We build intricate webs and systems to push us forward only to find we're sometimes taking steps back.

We blame others, don't assume failures and and look anywhere else but ourselves.

We have fake dialogs each day, with ourselves, with the man next door that believes in freedom and with our working colleagues while negotiating peace.

We are consumed by ourselves, and we consume and act only for ourselves.

We are aggressive even in our harmless ways, imposing our thoughts, having to respect for the others p.o.v.

We forget to love and love to forget.

All these while we move forward.
How on earth is that possible??

Craving

2009-02-16T07:39:00.000-08:00

Today I missed Emily and Anne and Sylvia and Virginia. How rare these moments got, when I could read and live and remember, and create. There were days when I couldn't get enough reading, when I sank into them, and they sank into me, days measured in pages read, not minutes or hours. Here's a taste for those who actually read this. You also might like Sylvia or The Hours.

I taste a liquor
by Emily Dickinson

I taste a liquor never brewed,
From tankards scooped in pearl;
Not all the vats upon the Rhine
Yield such an alcohol!

Inebriate of air am I,
And debauchee of dew,
Reeling, through endless summer days,
From inns of molten blue.

When the landlord turn the drunken bee
Out of the foxglove's door,
When butterflies renounce their drams,
I shall but drink the more!

Till seraphs swing their snowy hats,
And saints to windows run,
To see the little tippler
Leaning against the sun!

The Kiss
by Anne Sexton

My mouth blooms like a cut.
I've been wronged all year,
tedious
nights, nothing but rough
elbows in them
and delicate boxes of
Kleenex calling crybaby
crybaby, you fool!

Before today my body
was useless.
Now it's tearing at its
square corners.
It's tearing old Mary's
garments off, knot by knot
and see - Now it's shot full of
these electric bolts.
Zing! A resurrection!

Once it was a boat, quite
wooden
and with no business, no salt
water under it
and in need of some paint. It
was no more
than a group of boards. But
you hoisted her, rigged her.
She's been elected.

My nerves are turned on. I
hear them like
musical instruments. Where
there was silence
the drums, the strings are
incurably playing. You did
this.
Pure genius at work. Darling,
the composer has stepped
into fire.

Mirror
by Sylvia Plath

I am silver and exact. I have no preconceptions.
What ever you see I swallow immediately
Just as it is, unmisted by love or dislike.
I am not cruel, only truthful---
The eye of a little god, four-cornered.
Most of the time I meditate on the opposite wall.
It is pink, with speckles. I have looked at it so long
I think it is a part of my heart. But it flickers.
Faces and darkness separate us over and over.
Now I am a lake. A woman bends over me,
Searching my reaches for what she really is.
Then she turns to those liars, the candles or the moon.
I see her back, and reflect it faithfully.
She rewards me with tears and an agitation of hands.
I am important to her. She comes and goes.
Each morning it is her face that replaces the darkness.
In me she has drowned a young girl, and in me an old woman
Rises toward her day after day, like a terrible fish.

" Let a man get up and say, "Behold, this is the truth," and instantly I perceive a sandy cat filching a piece of fish in the background. Look, you have forgotten the cat, I say." Virginia Woolf

2009-01-18T02:02:00.000-08:00

I never made long term plans, they were commitments I knew I could not keep. Somehow things connected and events and opportunities were flowing one after another. I never compromised so much I did not find myself in whatever I was doing.

Life after @ is indeed less dreamy, and more challenging.You become more aware of what your values are and how values govern the life you lead. Money, ethics, excellence, responsibility, family, helping others, they often go to war against each other. And where there are wars, there are victims. We have evolved so much, we dream of living our lives as professional human beings, with high purposes and conscious choices, but when I look around most people are just trying to survive.

I am moving forward and learning new things, however I am passing through one of those moments I had when I was a kid, when I was writing in one of my so many unfinished journals: " I wish I was able to see myself in 20 years. How I look like, what I do, what kind of life I have." The view is clearer now, but as time goes by, a sort of inner impatience is cornering my mind: What do I live behind???

Time after time

2008-12-02T11:55:00.000-08:00

I'm wrapped up in a blanket, at my computer chair. I'm back. My luggage is still unpacked, somehow I'm not ready yet..I guess it's something us women can afford :)

Back at work today, the kids were sweet as usual. Most of the times they remind me how adults need attention and why. I shared candy to all the girls in the team, and was, once again, after mum, Razvan and other friends in the position to answer the question: How was it?

Words are picky, and sometimes not enough. I felt I came back from a far eastern part of Romania. I felt an instant connection to its people. I was absorbing stories and impressions, emotions and words with the thirst of a child or rather that of someone that is aware of it's bad memory and is trying to remember as much as he can.

So I started telling them about the warmth of the people, the hospitality, the history, bits of conversations like " We want to do something more but don't know how. We can do it too!", "I was out in the street when the language issue was out..we don't trust our political leaders anymore", " My grandpa and my grandma were separated....after some time, they met again, each with their families", " I now have Romanian citizenship!", " All my family is Russian", " My mum is Ukrainian and my dad is Moldavian", "I was born on the 4th of January on the way from Chisinau to Tiraspol", " Why doesn't Moldova have ambassadors? Can I be one?" (ambassadors for the P&G Pampers and shots campaign, "They (Russians) want to keep their influence on Transnistria because of its strategic position", "We started our own consultancy and translations business", "Hopefully, both Moldova and Ukraine will join EU and NATO", "Things are moving forward and a new generation will arise"..Part of the reason I liked it was because of it's diversity. Sure, diversity was and will be a reason for conflict, but all we need is tolerance and appreciation.

What amazed me more was AIESEC in Moldova. I can still remember Sergiu and Eugen at NPS, having lunch and connecting. There was very little of AIESEC in Moldova they could tell. Not the case nowadays though.

I was amazed of the professionalism of the conference team, the flexibility, and the impact. I was amazed by the hard work, dedication, beauty and originality of the OC and the greatest @song ever developed! I was amazed by the connections the delegates were making, by their maturity at certain points, by their view of the future. I have no doubt things are on the right track and the country will grow. If only at least 80% will walk the talk.

On my was home, this song was in my ears; Bits of words from the sugar cubes I received. Judging myself to see if I really deserved them; Thinking of my impact now and what more I can do. Thinking of values versus feelings / needs? and having the impressions of an unfinished conversation... Missing everyone, and the overall feeling of the conference. The magic of people brought together in the right context, the @spirit I was longing to reconnect to. Eagerly waiting to get home and open my condensed milk :P

I wish I had huge arms to hug the countries so tight there would be no borders. However it is, You will find me here whenever you will need.

Time after Time.

Wisdom

2008-11-16T04:43:00.000-08:00

In 1851 Chief Seattle and his people were persuaded to sell two million acres of land in Washington State for $150,000 to the U.S. Government.

This is his response, which since inspired millions of people around the world; Today, the city of Seattle carries his name.

What if people would have the same way of thinking today?

How can you buy or sell the sky, the warmth of the land? The idea is strange to us.

If we do not own the freshness of the air and the sparkle of the water, how can you buy them?

Every part of this earth is sacred to my people. Every shining pine needle, every sandy shore, every mist in the dark woods, every clearing and humming insect is holy in the memory and experience of my people. The sap, which courses through the trees carries the memories of the red man.

The white man's dead forget the country of their birth when they go to walk among the stars. Our dead never forget this beautiful earth, for it is the mother of the red man. We are part of the earth and it is part of us. The perfumed flowers are our sisters; the deer, the horse, the great eagle, these are our brothers. The rocky crests, the juices in the meadows, the body heat of the pony, and man --- all belong to the same family.

So, when the Great Chief in Washington sends word that he wishes to buy our land, he asks much of us. The Great Chief sends word he will reserve us a place so that we can live comfortably to ourselves. He will be our father and we will be his children.

So, we will consider your offer to buy our land. But it will not be easy. For this land is sacred to us. This shining water that moves in the streams and rivers is not just water but the blood of our ancestors. If we sell you the land, you must remember that it is sacred, and you must teach your children that it is sacred and that each ghostly reflection in the clear water of the lakes tells of events and memories in the life of my people. The water's murmur is the voice of my father's father.

The rivers are our brothers, they quench our thirst. The rivers carry our canoes, and feed our children. If we sell you our land, you must remember, and teach your children, that the rivers are our brothers and yours, and you must henceforth give the rivers the kindness you would give any brother.

We know that the white man does not understand our ways. One portion of land is the same to him as the next, for he is a stranger who comes in the night and takes from the land whatever he needs. The earth is not his brother, but his enemy, and when he has conquered it, he moves on. He leaves his father's grave behind, and he does not care. He kidnaps the earth from his children, and he does not care. His father's grave, and his children's birthright are forgotten. He treats his mother, the earth, and his brother, the sky, as things to be bought, plundered, sold like sheep or bright beads. His appetite will devour the earth and leave behind only a desert.

I do not know. Our ways are different than your ways. The sight of your cities pains the eyes of the red man. There is no quiet place in the white man's cities. No place to hear the unfurling of leaves in spring or the rustle of the insect's wings. The clatter only seems to insult the ears. And what is there to life if a man cannot hear the lonely cry of the whippoorwill or the arguments of the frogs around the pond at night? I am a red man and do not understand. The Indian prefers the soft sound of the wind darting over the face of a pond and the smell of the wind itself, cleaned by a midday rain, or scented with pinon pine.

The air is precious to the red man for all things share the same breath, the beast, the tree, the man, they all share the same breath. The white man does not seem to notice the air he breathes. Like a man dying for many days he is numb to the stench. But if we sell you our land, you must remember that the air is precious to us that the air shares its spirit with all the life it supports.

The wind that gave our grandfather his first breath also receives his last sigh. And if we sell you our land, you must keep it apart and sacred as a place where even the white man can go to taste the wind that is sweetened by the meadow's flowers.

So we will consider your offer to buy our land. If we decide to accept, I will make one condition - the white man must treat the beasts of this land as his brothers.

I am a savage and do not understand any other way. I have seen a thousand rotting buffaloes on the prairie, left by the white man who shot them from a passing train. I am a savage and do not understand how the smoking iron horse can be made more important than the buffalo that we kill only to stay alive.

What is man without the beasts? If all the beasts were gone, man would die from a great loneliness of the spirit. For whatever happens to the beasts, soon happens to man. All things are connected.

You must teach your children that the ground beneath their feet is the ashes of our grandfathers. So that they will respect the land, tell your children that the earth is rich with the lives of our kin. Teach your children that we have taught our children that the earth is our mother. Whatever befalls the earth befalls the sons of earth. If men spit upon the ground, they spit upon themselves.

This we know; the earth does not belong to man; man belongs to the earth. This we know. All things are connected like the blood, which unites one family. All things are connected.

Even the white man, whose God walks and talks with him as friend to friend, cannot be exempt from the common destiny. We may be brothers after all. We shall see. One thing we know which the white man may one day discover; our God is the same God.

You may think now that you own Him as you wish to own our land; but you cannot. He is the God of man, and His compassion is equal for the red man and the white. The earth is precious to Him, and to harm the earth is to heap contempt on its creator. The whites too shall pass; perhaps sooner than all other tribes. Contaminate your bed and you will one night suffocate in your own waste.

But in your perishing you will shine brightly fired by the strength of the God who brought you to this land and for some special purpose gave you dominion over this land and over the red man.

That destiny is a mystery to us, for we do not understand when the buffalo are all slaughtered, the wild horses are tamed, the secret corners of the forest heavy with the scent of many men and the view of the ripe hills blotted by talking wires.

Where is the thicket? Gone. Where is the eagle? Gone.

But why should I mourn at the untimely fate of my people? Tribe follows tribe, and nation follows nation, like the waves of the sea. It is the order of nature, and regret is useless. Your time of decay may be distant, but it will surely come, for even the White Man whose God walked and talked with him as friend to friend, cannot be exempt from the common destiny. We may be brothers after all. We will see.

We will ponder your proposition and when we decide we will let you know. But should we accept it, I here and now make this condition that we will not be denied the privilege without molestation of visiting at any time the tombs of our ancestors, friends, and children. Every part of this soil is sacred in the estimation of my people. Every hillside, every valley, every plain and grove, has been hallowed by some sad or happy event in days long vanished.

And when the last Red Man shall have perished, and the memory of my tribe shall have become a myth among the White Men, these shores will swarm with the invisible dead of my tribe, and when your children's children think themselves alone in the field, the store, the shop, upon the roads, or in the silence of the pathless woods, they will not be alone. In all the earth there is no place dedicated to solitude. At night when the streets of your cities and villages are silent and you think them deserted, they will throng with the returning hosts that once filled them and still love this beautiful land. The White Man will never be alone.

Let him be just and deal kindly with my people, for the dead are not powerless.

There are several versions of this speech, if you are interested or more accurate versions click here.

The teaching Bug

2008-11-09T09:26:00.000-08:00

I caught it or it caught me, I'm still not sure of the proper version. I guess you know when you're passionate about your work when:

1. You can't stop thinking about it
2. You give it a lot of your free time
3. It makes you feel good, and gives you a sense of purpose
4. You want to improve yourself and your work
5. You are eager to see results
6. You contaminate others :)
.
.
.
and the list could go on.

I get flashbacks from my childhood, I laugh everyday, I get surprised, I learn, I feel satisfied. I look back and see how little I knew at the beginning, hoping few months from now I'll look back and think the same.

I get tons of ideas. Leadership development programs, crafts, games, trips, activities; I have a strong urge to make things different.

This is how I feel 80% of my working time. The other 20 will get better :)

First MTC ever!

2008-10-19T05:29:00.000-07:00

Looking forward to the end of November!

Amongst the last hundred thoughts of the day.

2008-09-16T14:58:00.000-07:00

Finished writing some mails and was randomly looking at IC 08 pictures. I found this one and smiled inside and out. I find it the perfect way to visualize the purpose of the organization. And it's not only about religion, social and ethnic respect and acceptance. It narrows down to ourselves, everything we have inside of us, and the way we should deal with it.

My exact kind of art.

2008-09-07T09:40:00.000-07:00

I randomly clicked on Theo's link and unexpectedly discovered some of the greatest graffiti I've ever seen. Satirical, witty and outspoken, just like the author, Banksy, a famous British graffiti artist, one of the most amazing contemporary artists world wide.

Theo went offline before I got to say anything, and I promised to myself next time I'll see her, I'll at least say hello. You can find more here.

Being Alive

2008-09-07T09:12:00.000-07:00

Maira Kalman, incredibly talented and humorous, a living example of living, vs existing.

The search continues

2008-09-07T03:22:00.000-07:00

Latest Learnings

2008-09-06T01:02:00.000-07:00

There has been a lot of time since I got a kick in the butt like that. It came due to Iashington, a great conference I truly recommend, and more precise from the sessions I attended on the Leadership track. It was a kick in the butt because it pushed me forward and it was exactly what I needed this period to understand myself.

I think the whole experience can be described by just one story. As I was coming home from the last session, I was thinking: "I needed this kind of event"...and also..."I wonder for how long I'll continue to feel so empowered and focused on the important things to me..I wonder when the next event will be.."

Then all of a sudden it struck me. " What am I thinking? That's not what I want. What I want is for everything to come from within me not from somewhere else. I can be the next Jim Bagnola, and I'm not talking about his public speaking skills, but about his ability to uplift himself and also the people around him. I want to be that type of person .."

It was so weird, because, For some time, I had things figured out. I had my own vision of the future, I knew what I wanted...but I was searching for external ways to get there. With all the leadership trainings and sessions I attended...with all the talks and the great people I have met during all these years...I guess I've never fully understood the importance of talking the walk instead of walking the talk.

Our continuous conscious choices for a better future don't start with huge things. they start with awareness to internal thoughts and their control. They start with deciding not to get upset, or changing a sentence in your mind, before you say it, so that it has a positive message, thus influencing a positive response.

This is it, I'm done with chasing for loads of changes in me. I only want to change this. ..it's not easy but it's really not that hard either.

Everything else will fall into place. I will have the impact I'm looking for in people's lives and society, I will bring positive change, I will make a difference.

Enjoy the Ride!

2008-08-06T03:32:00.000-07:00

This song has been on and on in my mind for a few days now. Quite a few ups and downs lately. Plenty of time, but very little for enjoying.

Free time

2008-07-07T16:22:00.000-07:00

Well, this is the vision of the near future :) I have to thank Arthur not only for his thought provoking postings, but also for the cool applications he shares!

You can make your own characters and stories here.

Words of mine

2008-07-06T03:00:00.000-07:00

Wordle is the coolest application I ever discovered! You can make one of your own using texts from books, poems or your own blogs.

It reminds me of a semiotical way of analyzing poems or different texts my English teacher taught us. Often the main ideas were expressed with the help of the most used words in the text. The bigger words are the ones I used more often. Pretty interesting I'd say!

Nocturnal thoughts

2008-07-02T09:48:00.000-07:00

The crazy race towards graduation is now finished. With all the excitement gone, I am experiencing for the first time in a very long time the art of spending time.

I spend time every day doing things I like. I've taken a short trip to my grandparents, cooked, picked fruits, swung, listened to my fav songs, read, sang, played with a variety of animals, danced, watched tv, watched movies, the X files, hot rod, animal rescue and ..other stuff.

The bottom line is..I am taking a break and it feels good. Not a complete break though. Started having some Job interviews. The real deal after my AIESEC XP. Met some young applicants like me, saw the differences, found out more about this city's market, and turned down the first company interested in me.

I feel grateful for all of these things.. For everything AIESEC has given to me and for all the decisions I have taken to be here. I have friends I can rely on, a vision, values, Knowledge and skills to take me there, I can speak my mind when I have to and I trust myself and know I have to persevere.

I feel at home here more and more each day. I think about the future. My roots are growing strong..I love summer and the summer smell. Sweet and intense, fresh after the rain, warm and ripped, the sea and the flowers of the hills..the forest, the birds ,the light blue sky and the sunsets.

I'm making plans for the next days. Books to read, movies to see, places to go. I am now marking another point on the map. The sweet ambivalence - end and beginning. And for all this, I am more certain every day: my life will not be measured in days!

Graduation speech

2008-06-25T12:13:00.000-07:00

Dear colleagues, honorable professors, friends and supporters,

We are, I believe at the beginning of a new Era. A place in time when we don't operate only in the confines of our national boarders, a time when information travels with the speed of our brain connections, when all scientific fields have shown a deeper development and interconnection than ever before, when technology changes behaviors and societies, when the world becomes a village, when human behavior becomes a product, when peace and wars become products, a world still full of troubles, but more conscious of past mistakes?

In the context of this changing, high speed, global environment, we are now placed in Romania, Iasi, a town of 320,888, with over 5 universities and much more than 60.000 students per year. We are proud of our University, the oldest and one of the largest and most prominent in the country.

What is the role of this institution? What would be my role as a teacher? What is the best way for me to do that? In which way do I influence my students? What is the external need in society that I am fulfilling? It's been four years since I've started my University studies, and in these years, except for the case of one individual I really did not feel in any way these questions were pondering in my teachers minds...

For a country and a town in continuous transition and development, that are struggling for qualified human resources, for foreign investments for covering EU funds, for keeping pace with the world, I did not feel at any point the intention of our teachers to provide leadership.

The term is foreign language to both students and teachers.

Teachers prove no basic knowledge of how adults learn. I sometimes felt like being in a primitive cave where the supposed leader of the group tried to draw a carving on a wall to teach the others what good food is...Teachers coming to classes with courses that look incredibly similar from one year to another dictating them as in reading them or sometimes having a free monologue...No need of other logistics..no need of brain activation, no need of individual opinions, no need or no conception of actually teaching a student a lesson while in class not them teaching themselves 1 day max before an exam...

No intention whatsoever of developing practical skills, of doing more than spending some time and delivering some oral info that can be easily found on the internet. No need for being an example..a mentor, a coach. We are however proud to have such honorable scientists, such highly appreciated intellectuals...too intellectuals to teach the same language, too intellectuals to step down from their cloud of superior knowledge and do their jobs.

Not for the money, not for the status , not for the power, not because they do not know how to do anything else...but for growing independent capable individuals, that can shape the world we live in..that can determine their grandchildren and great grandchildren lives. I felt no sense for this urgency..I felt very little passion for what is supposed to be one of the most important roles in society.

The paradox is that all the teachers I've met during these years are quite smart individuals, however, in spite of that, political games are more important than teaching well, self sufficiency and intellectual narcissism are greater than changing a student's perspective, having a personal talk, giving advice. How can intelligence, corruption, self sufficiency, ignorance, incompetency and many other terms work together to provide leadership for society?

On the other hand I must admit I might have a clue of where their disappointment is coming from. I'm standing here next to my colleagues at the end of our what is supposed to be our "getting ready for life period". However, very few of them, even those with the highest grades have any clue about what they are going to in the next months, 1 year or 5. Not even a vague image of a vision. Most of them don't really know themselves. They never asked the right questions because no one guided them to do so;they barely know their own vales and principles. They rarely stepped beyond the "minimum necessary"; but that's also because no one showed them they could do much more. They don't care about the world issues, not even about local issues. They don't have a clear career path, and some of them never worked and never been to an interview. They barely produced original thoughts because they were not trained to. The studying for the exams always takes place one or two days Before an exam, in which period the word "study" becomes extremely misused.

I wished my words were of gratitude.. However the courses and books I've read during these years, the learning I took were purely acts of solitude. I wish I could have assisted a graduation where the leaders of students were actually capable of delivering a graduation speech. I wish I would have been provided with all the necessary logistics to have the presentation I dreamed of for my graduation paper, not upfront discouragement, I wish I actually had a presentation not a panel interview..I wish teachers would not underestimate so much, I wish self sufficiency would be replaced with a race towards performance.

and yeah...I wish this speech would have been actually delivered...right then ..at the graduation ceremony...it could have been a strong disinfectant odor against the smell of hypocrisy gathered there...in one of the most elegant rooms...of one of the best universities in the country?

:)

2008-05-24T09:51:00.000-07:00

I've been told my postings are not so cheerful, so I decided to throw in a smile see what happens :)

Today exam no 5 was passed, heading for the other 7. Studying so much lately I am starting to be amazed of all the brain power I'm wasting everyday.

Days pass so quickly, I feel I have all the patience in the world. Except for days when time passes hard, when I live the same days or when the circles we spin in have no spiral perspectives.

Checking out Lev, I discovered the animation world magazine. There are some pretty cool videos to watch..if you have time.

So yeah, that's my piece of smile for today.

:)

Scaphandre ou papillon?

2008-05-14T12:08:00.000-07:00

Butterflies float in the air
Like jellyfish in the sea
Elegant, fragile, docile,
They swirl,
In a dance of grace -
- a last minute prayer.

The butterflies choke me,
In a dance of death,
They fly insight my mouth
As if I was crippled,
As if I had nothing to say..
down my throat..
in my stomach..
knees and feet.

Take your butterflies home
I cough each one of them
and they fly back
As I breath my freedom.

Thinking too much..being too little

2008-05-11T03:04:00.000-07:00

There are some mysteries in life I just haven't yet figured out..I mean, you can always suspect reasons behind behaviors, but sometimes..some things.. I guess you just don't want to understand..

- people thinking too much of themselves
- people taking themselves too seriously
- people thinking just about themselves
- people hiding behind masks
- people pre - fabricating truths that don't exist
- people hoping where there is no hope left
- ...

and the list could go on.

I wish reason and feeling would call a truce and I could bring my dreams back home.

One Hell of a ride... :)

2008-04-06T09:08:00.000-07:00

It was 11 pm doing the usual 7 h train ride. Walked into the compartment, and instead of the usual unusual characters, 3 seemingly decent people occupied the seats next to me: two middle aged women and one chick my age.

At first I felt releaved, but after 1 h of uninterrupted loud conversation, from which not even the 2 newspapers I was naively trying to dive into could save me, I was seriously considering finding my own lonely piece of heaven. Was about then when one of the two women stopped babbling about her daughter that can speak 3 different languages and has the greatest job in the best company in the world, doing school and having straight A's , and started talking about her husband that apparently is a priest and was just about to finish his forth university. That's when it happened ...

The ultimate mistake of getting involved in the conversation, driven by my irrational curiosity. "Quite interesting...I said...Which faculties would those be?" It just didn't make any sense..how thirsty for knowledge do u have to be to study 4 different fields one after another in our educational system? Why?

"History, Medicine, Theology and Management and International Studies" she proudly replied, with a glooming sparkle in her eyes, giving a bigger dimension to my mystery.

"What's his current occupation ?", I asked, trying to understand why he would pick those sciences ..how did they relate...and what practical use would they have in his current occupation.

"He's a priest, he works for his hollyness Orthodox Patriarch Daniel"

"I see, it's funny you said that, I was just reading an article about him saying his hollynesses' file was the first one to disappear after the communist SRI (the spying communist apparatus) files were made public...".. somehow I didn't think ahead before saying that...My second big mistake...

My last words were followed by a rain of appraisals and considerate thoughts about the head of the Romanian orthodox church, about his activity and his life time achievements. Then I started thinking..why did the conversation feel so superficial? The man was probably there for a reason, for his high character, for his kind deeds...but then again, the thought of him being a collaborator...after everything communism did for this nation...then came my third mistake...

"Do you have any idea how many victims communism made in Romania?"

That of course triggered a storm of sweet words towards anyone who doubts followed by very loud confessions of how believing changed her life...and ridiculous metaphysical stories of how she got to believe...each of them had a rational scientific explanation that was burning on my lips...she also mentioned her son in law was a "gifted" person, that he could just touch people and say whatever they are suffering from...That of course made some sense into his restless desire to learn all sort of sciences..nonetheless, after the way the conversation evolved I decided to shut up.

This thought was quite far away from my neighbor's mind..she kept on talking for hours. she started asking the girl next to me all sort of questions exploring her lack of self defense...where she was going, working, if she had a boyfriend, what was his job, her job, her mum's job..followed by malicious comments the girl was bravely ignoring..he only wants to fuck her, that's why she's going there, then they started sharing all sorts of sexually related stories, some of them included animals, and then theories about men, ending with the story of her 2 marriages, how she was cheated, and how she made her latter husband swear on his health with the hand on the bible he'd never do it again..

All this time I kept my eyes shut simulating a deep sleep up to a point when a big yawn gave me away...

"You cannot sleep because of us can you, she asked with a Machiavellian smile on her face"

"No, I was just thinking.."

"What about?"

"People who believe..."

"Are you talking about me?"

"No, I am not"

Liberty

2008-04-04T05:45:00.000-07:00

EMANCIPATION.

No rack can torture me,
My soul's at liberty
Behind this mortal bone
There knits a bolder one

You cannot prick with saw,
Nor rend with scymitar.
Two bodies therefore be;
Bind one, and one will flee.

The eagle of his nest
No easier divest
And gain the sky,
Than mayest thou,

Except thyself may be
Thine enemy;
Captivity is consciousness,
So's liberty.

Emily Dickinson

Bird in a cage

2008-02-21T10:08:00.000-08:00

man: - You drive me to distraction, little bird, my mind flies away, from reality to dream. Your song makes me weak, but happy. If only I could understand the words..

bird: - My words are sad, but speak the truth. All these songs, I sing of you.

man: - Nonetheless, I don't need to understand. You brighten my room everyday, with your colorful little body, and your sparkly voice. You see and listen to me.

bird: - The things I wish to see are greater than these walls. Human pride is weak. The higher it goes up, the higher it falls.

man: - You probably listened to my thoughts aloud so many times. Time is our enemy and yet, time has brought us close.

bird: - Time ended when I was put in this cage. Time is a context. You can't blame time.

man: - You've been a quiet witness of so many things. You must know me better than anyone else now..

bird: - What I know is of no use. The best of me that I give you refuse.

A winter's dream

2008-01-10T02:30:00.001-08:00

The bigger you grow the smaller people become. I guess disappointment is a part of the process. However what amazes me most is not that, but my complete lack of awareness.

The last events brought both mistrust and confidence in people and the thought that in appearance, all men seem made out of the same things. What really makes the difference between them is just one simple context.

This song is for you Mali! You inspire the same strength.

No need for complicated measurement systems!

2007-12-11T09:02:00.000-08:00

It does work!

If I would be a..

2007-10-16T07:57:00.000-07:00

You know that game: If I would be a...what...would I be? It's a great game to play if you want to get to know more about people.

Today I came across this song and I was thinking.. If I would be a song, what song would I be?

Temporarily, I guess I'd answer a waltz. I can compare it a lot with my life lately. The rhythm is steady, pleasant, things, events or the things I learn evolve in spiral, same rhythm but new things all the time, in appearance they seem fun and easy, but when getting down to business they become complicated.

The more you dance the better you learn and the more confident and creative you get.

Yeah, I guess a waltz it is. However, I must admit, things do get a bit Tango once in a while. :)

Latest Learnings

2007-09-25T01:52:00.000-07:00

A Story about the Power of Questions

To bow or not to bow……….?

”You can eat an apple”, I said and gave him the green fruit.

It was as if he had seen an apple for the first time.

First he just held it there and smelled it, but then he took a little bite.

”Mum - mum”, he said and took a bigger bite.

”Did it taste good?” I asked.

He bowed deeply.

I wanted to know how an apple tastes the very first time you taste it, so I asked again:

”How did it taste?”

He bowed and bowed.

”Why do you bow?” I asked.

Mika bowed again. It made me feel so confused, that I hurried to ask the question again.

”Why do you bow?”

Now it was him who became confused. I think he did not know if he should bow again or just answer.

”Where I come from we always bow, when someone asks an interesting question” he explained – ”and the deeper the question, the deeper we bow.”

That was the strangest thing I had heard in a long time. I could not understand that a question was something to bow for.

”What do you do when you greet each other?”

”We always try to find something wise to ask?” he said.

”Why?”

First he bowed quickly, because I had asked another question and then he said:

”We try to ask a wise question to get the other person to bow”.

I was so impressed by the answer that I bowed as deeply as I could. When I looked up Mika had put his finger in his mouth. After a long time he took it out.

”Why did you bow?” he asked and looked insulted.

”Because you answered my question so wisely,” I said.

Now he said very loudly and clearly something that has followed me in my life ever since:

”An answer is nothing to bow for. Even if an answer can sound ever so right, still you should not bow to it.”

I nodded briefly. But I regretted it at once, because now Mika may think that I bowed to the answer he had just given.

”The one who bows shows respect”, Mika continued, ”You should never show respect for an answer.”

”Why not?”

”An answer is always the part of the road that is behind you. Only questions point to the future.”

Those words were so wise, I thought, that I had to press my hands against my chin not to bow again……..

- Jostein Gaarder, 1996 in Norway

The Life in me

2007-08-05T10:54:00.000-07:00

It's amazing to look back and remember everything. Of course sometime it's hard to keep track, with so many things going on.

What's more amazing though, is not necessarily the fact the you remember everything - some may not - but the fact that if you scan your whole being in terms of way of thinking, strengths, weaknesses, knowledge, behaviors, abilities you can see the difference.

I'd probably take a lot of time to write everything I lived these past few weeks. But I'm sure everyone who really knows me could tell the difference. How I've discovered team members as individuals and friends (thank you Team :), how I reconfirmed I love what I'm doing and kept my motivation high, how some basic simple things as sharing how I think can lead to changes in people, what my priorities are, what I want to leave behind at the end of my term, why my role is nationally and globally, where and how I see myself in the future, what impact means and how you can measure it - thank you Lucian for reminding me :) - what happens to people who dream and act stepping out of comfort zones, which are the opportunities that would be suitable for me in the future, who are the most important people in my life and why!, how can I improve myself to perform, how great it feels to be appreciated, how personal life and AIESEC can go together (thank you Razvan :) , how great it is to take some time off, how I always keep connected to what i do and believe in although I'm taking time off, how people make places, how to leave places more beautiful than you found them - Thank you AIESEC Cluj! :) - how knowing where people come from and their past experiences explains behaviors and beliefs, how important is to keep close contact with your family otherwise hey will call the police or email all ur friends :P, and the list could go on and on.

This is why AIESEC people have so much Life in them. It's about comprised life time experiences and the impact they make on you. It's about a burning flame insight, that you could call whatever - Life, Change, Happiness, Fulfillment, etc.

Rond and round..

2007-07-06T00:52:00.000-07:00

The morning sun beats against the window. light and sounds hurt. It all goes slow until I'm on my two feet. And afterwards, there is no time to think about all these. One after another, people, events, colors and feelings burst into an endless stream or threads that seem like parallel universes tied around me like the threads of a carpet, that altogether form a beautiful and unique pattern.

A leadership experience in AIESEC is as busy as you want it to be. I thought autumn will be crazy, but summer is not far behind.

New things I learned this week: a new park and coffee place, Bucharest - the traffic jungle - the extreme Irony - my first fine ever - for not crossing the road in the right place.

The Dutch Ambassadors - sometimes AIESEC doesn't have to be about concrete results but especially about the impact a thought or a different way of seeing the world has on you.
Surprising mum with Julio Iglesias tickets: the more you create a negative aura before the surprise, the more positive impact the surprise has on people, (but also don't ask mum to pick things up for me again otherwise get ready to face a nervous breakdown).

TMU Meeting. All collective MSN meetings get frustrating at some points - you just have to loosen up.

And the last but most important: Coaching Meetings. Have patience and be supportive - your role is to coach and enable people to develop not do all tasks perfectly in the shortest time possible. You're somehow closer to where you wanted to be. Help them get there!

Next stop: Sibiu, Presidents Meeting Training, MC Team Building, Sepultura Concert, People Task Force, Meeting Munchkin, NTT Preparation, Coaching Meetings, Team Scoreboard Planning and Coaching Training in Ploiesti, TRIX in Cluj, then PenInsula in TgMures.

All of this and a Scottish song that keeps rolling in the back of my head:

Round and Round
..goes the wheel of fortune
Round and Round
till they weary me.
Young girls hearts
- are so uncertain
Sad experience teaches me

19, 17, 15, 13, 11, 9, 7, 5, 3, 1

20, 18, 16, 14, 12, 10, 8, 6 ,4 ,2

... none.

Latest Readings

2007-07-02T14:03:00.000-07:00

I've finished reading The Collector , and I was immediately in love with it. The reading started pretty slow, because at the beginning I was not sure where it was going.

I like Fowles' style. Simply built: his and her personality and side of the story. Gradually drawing with words the collector type of character. Behaviors and reactions, from diary thoughts addressed to readers. The end was not surprising, but rather surprisingly sad. I thought she was somehow similar to me.

There was one quote that got stuck to my mind: " Only the fools underestimate the power of a water drop. They are, in the end, one and the same with the Ocean"

This could be either a optimistic, or a very sad thought. Today I incline towards the latter one.

The world I live in

2007-06-29T11:45:00.000-07:00

In my world...

People matter. They constitute hope for the future. The generations of internet, nuclear equipment, genetic revolution, global warming, terrorism, aids, and other issues that stick to the global agenda for decades. The generations to fight Idiocracy.
What you give is what you get. Effort equals growth.
People do things without expectation of recognition.
People understand concepts as Vision and Values. While some spin around them, like bees around flowers, others sit right on top of them. They get fed and thus function.
Time and space shift values. They pour down the walls in cascades, like thousands "Persistence of Memories", snatched off their expensive frames.
There are so many shapes and colors, not even Lijphart could compare and classify.
Do at least the effort of understanding the past, while dealing with the present, and building for the future.
Everything you are is everything you have. The distance between word and thought, thought and action. Not between the first and last last grade on your graduation sheet.
Is comprised of experiences that lead to options. The more options people have, the more their lives are worth living.
Intense finds no appropriate Superlative Form. Mistakes are Precious and Failures Successes. Ignorance is constrained to hide it's dirty face.

My world is like a war helmet. When I will step out of it, I'll keep the casket and remember what good it has done to me.

Some days ago I realized My world is a Conscious Choice.

I was talking to one of my former high school friends last night, and after displaying his ironic opinion on AIESEC, we were trying to set a date for catching up. When asked about it, I said:

"We could go out for a drink tomorrow". He patronizingly replied :

"Tomorrow night Bestival concerts start. One what world do you live in?"

My Leadership Style

2007-06-28T11:44:00.000-07:00

What Famous Leader Are You?
personality tests by similarminds.com

From the series: What rock band, beverage drink, pet, poet, and so on ... are you, here comes this one. Gandhi was actually one of my early idols.

(Re) Discovery

2007-06-28T07:49:00.000-07:00

The Dickinson Electronic Archives have been updated. It's been quite a while since I looked around. However, not all the articles can be viewed. I was quite interested to read some of Emily's letters to Susan. For those interested (if anyone actually reads this and loves Emily Dickinson), I found the first chapter of Open me Carefully, in a New York Times article:

http://www.nytimes.com/books/first/h/hart-open.html?_r=2&oref=slogin

Enjoy! :)

Meanwhile

2007-06-28T03:19:00.000-07:00

When I first thought of creating a Blog, I thought I'd use it to go back in time and see how many things happened and how those things affected me, the way I think and act.I realized today I wasn't doing that much of that, so here I am trying to catch up.

I'm in Bucharest now. One of latest activities on the agenda was the Board of Advisers Meeting. Was quite surprised by the people attending it. I've set meetings and got some pretty good inputs. They were quite nice to spare some of their time for us, and sustainable future. However, there is a limit to their kindness - of course. When eyes look down and noone says a word. I keep noticing different types of people here. Bucharest taught me not to be surprised.

A more pleasant event was the RoPDU Planning. The guyz reminded me of Breakfast Club. In each of the there is a bit of each other they have to explore more. It was one of those moments when I put more than an equal share of my heart and my mind. Hope I'll get some back :)

Some other lesson: It's incredible how people in AIESEC have the same goals and way of thinking. Get to know each other in TMU. It was like my thoughts, experience so far and ideals, signed, by turn, by people around my age all over the world.

(Re) Discovered: Klimt, Fowles, watermelon, working in the office, long distance calls with munchkin, externals, extreme temperatures, agendas, quantity of sent and received mails per days measured in two numbers, fruits, planning.

Quote of the Day: "All men are children, and of one family. The same tale sends them all to bed, and wakes them in the morning."
Henry David Thoreau

Free will

2007-06-18T01:44:00.000-07:00

There was a young man who said, 'Damn,
In is borne upon me that I am
A creature that moves
In predestinate grooves--
Not even a bus, but a tram.'

If ever asked if I believe in destiny, I usually can't help a big smile. Not because I consider this amusing in any way, but because the idea of a "superior force" guiding our steps and watching over us is very much against everything I believe in as a person, against every form of freedom I value, but most importantly against freedom of choice.

However, two days ago, as I was getting ready to leave from Bacau to Bucharest, I received a phone call from my friend saying my exams are starting in two days, not in a week, as I was told and as the year structure posted next to the Secretary's door said.

I was unpleasantly surprised, not only because I had only 1 day to study, but mainly because I had a meeting on Monday I did not want to miss. Eventually, the hour of the meeting was changed, and I was to go to Iasi the next day, which was Sunday, then go to the exam on Monday morning at nine, then take the train at 14 and arrive in Bucharest at 21.30, then go to the meeting.

This morning at nine o'clock there was nobody from my year of study around. I was expecting the teacher to be late, but not them. At 9.30 a teacher comes and tells me I'm supposed to come at 16, that's when the exam takes place. :|

As I was coming back from school, I realized some things are beneath our power of choice, that we are conditioned by the perimeters of the systems we are a part of. Direct participation is not only a concept for defining actively engaged citizens in politics or community, but it spreads out to education or NGOs or any form of institution or process that is a system or is part of one.

Of course, the more we express our choices the better thing go for us. Had I decided to join the Student Council or be the Student Year Coordinator, I would have had something to say about it.

What's more, terms such as political clientelism can be easily applied here as well. If I had been in contact with the Student Year Coordinator, making her some small favors, complimenting her, or whatever else polite terms are there to substitute ass kissing, she would have given me the big favor of telling me the exact hour of this exam, and who knows what else.

There is , for sure, a list out there with people who get this information very easy... And I am not a part of it. This, of course in the hypothesis of the Teacher actually consulting someone about it...

Two days ago, my mum asked why I don't find school as attractive as I used to.

The Zen Week

2007-06-12T09:15:00.000-07:00

Remember this week.
Ever since January or perhaps last year you've been waiting for it.

It's now surprising to see the changes. What was once avoided has now become interesting or even pleasant. Watching TV, reading History books, cooking, day sleeping, reading casual non urgent mails..or creating a Blog.

However, the best part of it was still being in touch with people and my duties. Then I realized. By far, these have been the most balanced days of my life. Everything was into place. Balance, must surely be, a primordial condition for circles of influence to expand. Beyond any system, numbers or theories, it alone can trigger constant and long term change. Perhaps we should try working on that for the next Leadership Development Seminars.

Balance is the core of Zen philosophy. The human mind, unconsciously balancing the opposites. Sounds pretty easy, doesn't it?

Daily thoughts

2007-06-11T14:42:00.001-07:00

Salty waters bathe my feet
- their road is safe and thought of
Nonetheless, formulas are changing
It's two steps forward and one back.
I am not to choose latter destinations -
Was last taken at the market
Mistaken though -
- I am not for trade
And neither are my goods.